How Much Control and Power Do You Have?

For many people, concepts like "control" and "power" are still taboo. Too many clichés have relegated them to obscure activities, certainly not for the benefit of the majority. But is that really the case?

Nothing happens without Control and Power

In general, we do not have a good relationship with the concepts of "Check" And "Candies".

I understand this when, when I speak or write about it, I often receive rather heated feedback, based on a distorted conception of these two fundamental elements of our life which, even more so, define the quality of our leadership.

Let's be clear: without control and power, it's impossible to talk about leadership, much less quality of life.

That said, let's take a closer look at how these two essential aspects of our daily lives influence not only the quality, but also and above all the effectiveness we are able to impart to any area of our existence.

While "Check" And "Candies" Although they are concepts in themselves, they are inextricably linked, as they feed off each other: one determines the other and vice versa, that is, the stronger one is, the more solid and stable the other will be.

The quality of the CANDIES determines the quality of the CHECK
The quality of the CHECK determines the quality of the CANDIES
A false POWER will determine a false CONTROL and, vice versa,
A true POWER will determine a true CONTROL and vice versa

The reason why we react so badly, or at least feel annoyed, towards these two activities is because we usually endure them, and we endure them because they are weak in us.

Let's try to think about how we react to the power and control others have over us.

Would we oppose them, as we actually do, if we perceived that we already had full control and power over our thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and actions?

The worst thing in the world is a person without any personal control and power, developed over time through hard work on themselves, who has been given the ability to exercise power and control over others thanks to a position acquired and fallen from above (we see it in social situations, politics, work, etc.): it is devastating and for this reason most of us, rightly, experience them badly.

But it doesn't have to be this way, and the only antidote to this situation is to develop these faculties on our own, on ourselves, for ourselves... and for others.

This is the basis of leadership, always remembering that there are no "empty" in nature: either we are the ones exercising leadership over ourselves or there is a host of people out there happy to fill this void.

Some points to consider

It would take several volumes to properly address such a delicate topic, and I certainly won't attempt to do so in one article, but I can offer some food for thought to significantly raise the level of control and power in one's leadership, or at the very least, to begin some serious reflection.

Not everything that seems like "Power" is.
If I were to ask you what the opposite of is "Candies", you would probably answer me "Impotence"...and you'd be right.
But there's more.
Power can be defined as "the ability to act and/or achieve desired results": do we agree?
There is, however, a form of pseudo-power that we call "Resistence", which has nothing to do with Power itself, as we can define Resistance as "the desire to avoid unwanted situations".
When I exercise my Power, I pursue and achieve what I want; when I Resist, I try to avoid at all costs what I want. NOT I want, and it is therefore a false version of Power which is however what most people pursue.

How We Give Up, or Gain, Greater Control/Power
Human nature is such that we would do anything to avoid any internal conflict and we do this above all by blaming others when something happens that we were unable to prevent.
In fact, not only are we declaring that we did not have the power to avoid what we did not want, but we are "giving in" Who do we blame for making this happen? It couldn't get any worse than this!
Taking on the "responsibility" of what happens (not the "guilt"), even when it doesn't concern us in any way, we declare that we have the control/power to change things: this is leadership;

Work on the cause rather than the effect
Usually, we try to change events once they have already happened, and this is not possible, since events are merely the effect of dynamics triggered by an interaction of past situations that are otherwise extremely difficult, if not impossible, to identify and analyze.
Real Control/Power comes from implementing those behaviors, attitudes, and actions that will have a positive impact on the dynamics that will ultimately produce the desired effects. Based on knowledge of system dynamics, the leader is able to: "fold" events for one's own (and others') benefit;

All Control/Power is in the hands of Nature
In reality, Control and Power have no meaning because no one can say that they can use them as they please... so sustainable, at least.

We can do and create anything, but always only and exclusively by bending to the iron laws of Nature, which in turn are intended to contribute to the well-being of the systems that depend on it.

A leader deeply integrated into a reality that has evolved over millennia to reach a state of ever-greater interconnection between peoples and individuals—a process still fully underway—cannot afford to ignore where he comes from, where he operates, and where he is destined to arrive together with those he responsibly leads.

His power, in fact, does not come from what he is capable of doing, but from his ability to relate positively to this new reality.

Conclusion

Each musical instrument produces a specific sound because it is in its nature to emit that sound and no others.

A leader of our times will never seek to change the nature of the reality with which he must interact, as has been done up to now, but like a good composer and conductor, he will use the unique sounds of each instrument to produce the best possible symphony.

It is the essence of what I define as leadership. "systemic".